Friday, 17 June 2011


   For years I dreamed about how, when I had children, I would be THAT Mom.  The one who played and set up lots of activities and crafts.  Who would sing all day and make stories and bake loads of goodies.  Who would smile and would never run out of patience.  Who would know just what to do.
Imagine my surprise when I realized that I am not THAT Mom.  I like to create stories but my little Bear isn't old enough to play into them yet.  I get bored of doing the same thing over and over again although my dear one obviously delights in it.  I often don't find the time to bake goodies.  And where was that unending fountain of patience which I was to draw upon? What happened to all my finely laid plans?
   I took Bear "camping" for a few days.  Which means we stayed in a nice, cushy RV with satellite tv, running water (no hot water though), BBQ and other amenities.  My focus was to try and understand Bear better.  He knows how to push my buttons and since turning two has taken it upon himself to be a model toddler and throw some wicked tantrums.  The one thing that drives me nuts more than anything is that when we go out without the stroller, because Bear likes to walk and ride in carts, that walking with the Bear is like dragging along a large tuna fish, flopping and flapping out of water. He also thinks that he need not hold hands.  I figured that I could slow things down and get a handle on the issue.
We still had our blow ups.  I am ashamed that I sometimes yell, snip or even bargain with him.  But I also found ways to deal with him.  The walking greatly improved if I constantly kept up a stream of chatter or singing with him.  When he throws a fit I have to repeat myself calmly until he calms down.  We both need to be "gentle" with each other.
I also broke a bunch of my parenting rules.  Some I won't mention because my friends and family might disown me.  His uncle filled him up with freezies.  At the beach, he wore his life jacket and while I caught fish for him I often turned my back on him while he was in the water.  He let me know if he needed help and if I heard a splash I always turned around.  We had the tv on a lot while indoors.  While I was getting cleaned up and packed to go home I put him out front of the trailer to play, looking out the patio doors every few minutes.
  The most important thing I learned on our mini vacation is that my son is very much like me.  He is independent, willful and just a bit dramatic and stubborn.  Perhaps this is why we butt heads.  We had a great time and learned from each other.  So while I may not be THAT Mom, I am something much more wonderful.  I am BEAR'S Mom and that makes me very happy.  Can't wait to go back to camp!

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